About The BULLY

All children are a gift to our world
A bully is simply a frightened child who has lost sight of who they really are.
A bully will usually have unresolved anger or issues that are expressed as negative or aggressive behaviour.

Aggression can be obviously physical such as pushing, kicking, punching, biting or slapping.
Aggression can also be expressed as negative comments, put downs, criticism and any behaviour designed to elicit shame, fear or hurt in another.
Supporting the aggressive child begins with listening to how he/she feels without judgement. Taking the time to resolve emotions will save time in the future normally lost in dealing with escalating aggressive behaviour.
Once the aggressive child has begun to make amends, expose him/her to tasks that help develop compassion and responsibility.
The I AM Program has several workshops to support these values, read through the list on the website to choose the ones that most reflect the needs of your classroom.
Counselling Tips for a Bullying Child:
Take him/her to a safe place and ask-
‘What happened?’
‘How did that make you feel?’
‘And what else did you feel?’
‘And what else did you feel?’
Use reflective listening skills; don’t interrupt or ask other questions.
Resist the temptation to scold or shame.
This is an exercise in getting to the heart of the matter. If you can be calm and non-judgemental you will provide an opportunity for this child to ‘let go’ of the pain that triggered the aggression.
Expect to see the following emotions:
Anger followed by blame/resentment-revenge-hopefulness-optimism.
When you reach hopefulness or optimism, compassion can be attained and the teacher and student may discuss amends for the situation.
At this time, say:
‘Thank you for trusting me with your feelings. I understand why you were angry but it’s never ok to hurt someone. What can you do to help repair what has been done?’
Help the child find the appropriate solution.
The best outcome is when the child wants to repair, wants to gain your trust and is willing to give you a chance.
Making amends is best when it fits the situation.
For example: If something is damaged, the child can repair it or help repair.
An apology will be necessary, along with some community activity where the child can do well and be acknowledged for positive contribution, service and helpfulness.
The best we can do for any child and the world is teach them to LOVE themselves!!

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